Tuesday, October 29, 2013

IS BILLY SHAKESPEARE REALLY A VAMPIRE? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW



Happy Halloween Everyone.

As you can see, I, L.J. Holmes dressed as a feathery prism. I figured since I have this reputation by some of being a prism I should see if I could DRESS the part.

What do you think? Did I make it? Not sure if I'm a colorful eagle or a tie-dyed pea-hen.

But I KNOW you recognize KAT'S brilliant costume...

Yep. you're right. She's so smart she's a walking brain.

Kat and I are dressed in our most intriguing costumes because good old Billy Shakespeare, you know, 

THE long past his due date,BARD,  sent word via 

Land Trolls he wanted to rise up and challenge L.J. and Kat Holmes to another "Prose-off." But don't quote me on that...You know how reliable Land Trolls are as messengers.

Back to good OLD Billy, you gotta feel sorry for a guy who spends most of his time playing tag with 

earth worms and still thinks he's up to the challenges Kat and I put forth upon his magnificence ..Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got a little...prosaic...there, but I must make poor Deader Than A Door Nail

Billy Shakespeare feel a little bit at home before Kat and I reduce him back to his moldering state of 

over-inflated bone-dust.

Okay, look sharp, here he is. 

Hey Billy, looking spiffy today...a bit peaked, but other than that...I must say I love all your points. 

(Whispering so he won't hear, L.J. leans over to Kat and asks...did you see what I saw...fangs?...Kat shrugged.

L.J. I have to ask the obvious question based on how...refined you look in those pantaloons, are you here to celebrate Halloween?

B.S. What's Halloween? Are you talking about that holiday where people go all elaborate living out their fantasies by playing at looking like someone...or someTHING else? What are you wearing, by the way?

L.J. I'm a prismatic Eagle or spectacular pea-hen, and Kat is a Walking Brain.

B.S. (shaking his head) And they say corpse's have no life!

L.J. That's just plain mean. Okay if you're not here to celebrate the holiday of all things ghoulish, why are you here?

K.H. I hate to be rude, B.S. but if I turn my head this way, you almost look like a vampire.

B.S. Ooops! Did my fangs show? And after all the Fang-Be-Gone I had Igor, Eyegor, and Itzsore buff into them. Can't trust hunchbacks to get anything right.

L.J. I knew it. I knew it all along. I told Kat long ago anyone who could write a tale like the one no one will mention the name of before performing it, has to have been a vampire with a virulent case of witch envy. Such a person must be from the dark side.

B.S. (chuckling) Close, but not quite true.

K.H. You're NOT a vampire?

B.S. Not everything with fangs is a blood sucker, but I do know a few O negative-a-holics. Let me just go ahead and tell you guys why I wanted to visit right now, okay?

There's a rumor going around the Underworld...don't laugh we do have our version of Western Union...Back to the rumor...Is it true Kat, you have been approached by my favorite kinky, dark loving goddess to report to the world the TRUTH about...(B.S. carefully and nervously looks all around before leaning in to whisper)...

Hekate' Web?

K.H. WOW! I'm being talked about by the Underground?

B.S. Not just talked about...oh my, you're their/OUR hero and word is out you're about to let Book Two loose of the ongoing Hekate's intensely coveted vamp and demonic archives on the <gulp> living world.

In fact someone, we think maybe a water demon, copied some unauthorized posters of your cover and they're hanging everywhere down below. 

And what a cover/poster SEEKER is? I personally am in love with Edeline. What a woman! Love her lips. But don't tell Atu I said that. He's a scary dude and I try to stay on his c-o-o-o-o-l-l-l side. Safer that way.

Back to Edeline, Atu, and you, Kat. All of your deeply loyal fans keeping time Down-Sliding in the seas of...well happy brine want to know everything you can tell us, especially when we can get our hands on it? That Edeline chick...I so want to sleep with her book beneath my rock pillow...bet it can make my rock, rumble!

Can you tell I'm all a-quiver? I've got GOOSEBUMPS. Have you any idea how long its been since I had goosebumps? 

I tried to contact Hekate and ask her, but she sent me a 

dirt devil with the message to come here and ask you...so here I am...Tell me about SEEKER.

K.H. You already know it's book two in the Hekate's Web Series. It pretty much picks up where HIDDEN left off.

B.S. (nodding his head.) Oh yeah. That Lilith is quite a knockout, but Edeline...hubba hubba! That woman tugs my dusty bowstrings. 

L.J. (nodding) It's a powerful story, B.S. Kat did an exceptional job channeling Hekate's archives. You do know Atu and Edeline are on an important quest, commanded by Hekate, right?

B.S. Oooh oooh, oooh. Can I be what they're questing for? I know Muse It Up Publishing keeps dredging up that harlot 

Bonella...so how about letting Edeline dredge up me?

K.H. (skeptically) Are you sure you know Atu?

B.S. Well hell. everyone needs some...pungent competition, and there are very few more pungent than me. 

L.J. (wrinkling her nose.) You sure have that right, but Hekate's already approved Kat's telling of SEEKER the way it is. The whole idea is to let the world know who REALLY is the creator of vampires. She's kinda pissed about all the fake stories being bandied around about HER inventions.

B.S. Not fair. I can be just as scary as Atu, so when are you going to bring me into Hekate's Web?

K.H. I'm really sorry, Billy. I can't speak for Hekate. She's the one who makes these decisions. Maybe you should fly to Mount Olympus and spend time presenting your case to her.

B.S. (wincing) She doesn't like it when her ghouls, demons, and vamps pop in on the Mount. We get such a sermon..and trust me Hekate puts quite a spin on giving sermons on her mount.

L.J. Kat, why don't you let him read the back cover of your book, and maybe add a little bit of a teaser?

B.S. (fairly jumping like a bunny on a carrot high) Oh...please, please, please? And could I take it back with me to the Underworld? What a hero I'll be, and I can make all my under buds rise up on the day it's released and glam our humans into buying it. When is it coming out, by the way. You didn't say.

K.H. SEEKER the sequel to 
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HIDDEN is coming out from MUSE IT UP PUBLISHING on Friday November 1st.

B.S. PERFECT...all saints day when ghouls and saints get to break through the barriers of life and death. Great day for haunting all those who don't buy your book....

willingly.

K.H. From your lips to Hekate's ears!

L.J. Come on Kat, let's go get Billy the teasers. We'll be right back.

B.S. Cool. I'll just practice some of my best lines while you're gone. {actively clearing his parched throat.} 

To be, or not to be...I lstill like that question!

Something's Rotten in the State of Denmark...God that Hamlet really was a bit of a whiner!

O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo....That Juliet...blinder than a bat.

K.H. We're back!

B.S. Good. I was getting tired of the idiots I created.  Is this it? Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee! 

Oh Yeah, I am so gonna to out do that water demon when I get this back home. 

Thanks girls, and Kat if you don't get big sales, me and my buds are going to set off such a stinking world wide haunt-fest, people'll run to the nearest e-seller.

L.J. That's sweet of you, Billy. And you know, if either of us get a chance to speak with Hekate any time soon, we'll run the idea by her about writing your underworld story.

B.S. Awww. If I weren't already dead I'd be blushing. I guess I'd better get back and prepare myself for the hero-worship. You two take good care...until next time.

L.J.  Thanks Billy.  
K.H. As always, it was fun.
L.J. Well see you soon. 



Back Cover
Atu is an ancient warrior and vampire long in the service of his king. He has no desire for home or family. But when the Goddess Hekate tasks him with finding an ancient artefact before his enemies do, he is forced to enlist the aid of a woman who drives him crazy.
Edeline Comstock has the sight and has been cursed and reviled for it by her family. When she finds herself under attack from a monster, a dark and dangerous man is her only salvation, or he might be her destruction.
Forced to aid Atu, time is running out to uncover the secrets of the past. But a far greater danger stalks Edeline, one from which there may be no return.

Excerpt
The face that stared back at her was wan and haggard. How she hated days like this. The past couple of weeks had been rougher than usual and the stress and strain just added to her already existing problems. God, she was sick of problems.
Edeline Comstock was tired. And what was worse, she knew already, as she always did, that her day wasn’t nearly over. Nope, like it or not, she’d call. That damn news article had seen to that. There’d be no avoiding Stephanie’s ranting rage even though Edeline really wasn’t up for it.
At least she no longer lived with the bitch. Once she’d turned eighteen she’d inherited her mother’s fortune. She hadn’t even waited till her father and stepmother returned from Europe before she rented a townhouse. She’d packed her things and left her brother and sister in the care of their nanny without a second thought. Wyatt and Courtney didn’t like her any more than her stepmother did thanks to Stephanie’s so-called nurturing over the years.
Freaky, weird, scarecrow, beanpole. She’d heard all those insults and many others over the years. Her stepmother created a few more choice insults to call her when the words everyone used failed to fully express the total scope of Stephanie’s hatred. It didn’t help that as her father climbed the political ladder, he withdrew more and more from any role in Edeline’s upbringing, allowing Stephanie unhampered control over her.




4 comments:

Heather said...

tell Billie his O negative-a-holic friends may have better luck if they switch their habit to AB. More options. Then again, don't. I fit into that category.
Natasha is daydreaming, so her blood may flow too quickly, giving Billie indigestion.
Great post
Heather G - Natasha's Dream
the saga continues with
Natasha's Diary

Susan Bernhardt said...

Happy Halloween, Lin and Kat! Great blog. What a huge collection of books pictured! Wow!

Susan Bernhardt

Kat Holmes said...

Thanks ladies.:-)

meme Oliveri said...

Great interview!! Shouldn't you guys be searching for food? And watering Kat's brain?